Politics in Brazil isn't a joke anymore

Yesterday saw a march and protest along Rio's Copacabana beach. About 50 comedians, some of them famous in Brazil, wore specially made T-shirts and red noses to parade up and down Brazil's most famous beach and were joined by a big crowd of people that either agreed with them, or wanted a stroll, or were looking for an autograph. And the protest? It's against a recent ruling from the "Superior Electoral Tribunal" (the election judges) that prohibited radio, TV and internet programmes and shows from (and we quote) "using tricks, montages or audio or video effect that leave candidates parties or electoral alliances ridiculized". The court ruling also said that future production of such programs would be suspended.

After all, just the subject of Brazilian politics is set up for satire. The politicos there have long been the butt of jokes and quite right too as the vast majority need bringing down a peg or two hundred. But in its push to be seen as a serious country these days Brazil is achieving just the opposite; this kind of pettyfogging just makes the country look more stupid than before.

Farewell, Constitution Mining (CMIN.ob), it was fun while it lasted

Hey, remember that thing called Constitution Mining (CMIN.ob), the utter scam that tried to sell underwater river dredging alluvial gold mining in Peru? Well, it seems like their cunning plan has hit a small roadbump, as Peru has just banned the very same dredging ships from dredging riverbeds due to the large-scale environmental damage caused by this process.

The ban so far only applies to the Madre de Dios river and not the Marañon river where CMIN fakes its projected operation, but that's only cos there aren't any operating dredgers on the Marañon. However, the chances of Peru allowing one Amazonian river to be screwed forever by scumbags while at the same time banning scumbags on another river are as high as the hole in your posterior has of healing up in the next week or so.

And thus we wave goodbye to Constitution Mining. You guys were great for a laugh and kept us entertained for nigh on a year, but all good things come to an end. Adios amigos, hasta nunca cabrones de mierda.

Chávez saves THE WHOLE OF VENEZUELA FROM CERTAIN DEATH by banning Coke Zero

Forget fascist repressions in Peru, ongoing extrajudicial killings in Colombia and thwarted Coups D'Etats in Bolivia, because now THE VERY FABRIC OF MODERN SOCIETY HAS BEEN THREATENED by Hugo Chávez's ban on the soda "Coke Zero" in Venezuela.

Yesterday Venezuelan HealthMin Jesus Mantilla said that the drink should be withdrawn, saying, "The product should be withdrawn from circulation to preserve the health of Venezuelans." Details weren't given, but the suspicion is that Sodium Cyclamate is behind all this.

Apparently, when the Coca-Cola Company first introduced Coke Zero into Latin America a couple of years back they used a different recipe than the one up North, leaving out some of the normal sweeteners approved for use everywhere (like aspartame that costs around $150/kg, if my info is good) and added Sodium Cyclamate instead, which comes in at around $10/kg right now (again, if my info is good on this). The only problem is that Sodium Cyclamate is a banned substance in many parts of the world, including inside the USA, where it has a reputation as a carcinogen and has been off the list of things food manufacturers can put in their stuff since 1970.

When Mexico and Chile (two of the first target markets for Coke Zero in LatAm) found out that Sodium Cyclamate was part of the yummy local recipe there was an awful hoohah until Coca-Cola Company changed the recipe to the one used in the USA. Now I don't know whether the Venezuelan version does or does not contain Sodium Cyclamate (Coke says it doesn't), but I'll bet dollaz to lowcal donutz that sexy little cancer-maker is at the heart of the Venezuelan ban. It only remains to be seen whether Chávez&Co has a valid complaint about local Coke Zero or it's down to another round of gringobaiting, but according to a quick Google before it went on sale in Venezuela the drink got its clean bill of health from the very same HealthMin that is now banning it.

On the other hand I do know that firearms in Caracas kill far more people than CokeZero ever will and perhaps Hugo should do something more proactive about them instead of farting around with soft drinks. I also know that any serious news service covering LatAm that gives this story more column inches than Peru's transformation into a murderous police state is a total whore and should be ashamed of itself....just like this blog. And finally, I know that CokeZero tastes crap so it'll never be a health risk to me either way...I'm sticking to expresso coffee and OJ.