My new hero nation: Canada

Canada is my new hero country....wild no?

My stereotype-ingrained-pigeonholed opinion about Canada being a quiet, relaxed, unassuming, uncontroversial, agreeable...and plain boring country has been blown out the water by those sneaky conniving Canuck types and their Machiavellian political plotting. YAY!

"So what they gone done, Otto?" I hear you cry. Well, remember back to this photo-op on November 21st?

That Harper dude stood next to Alvaro Uribe of Colombia and watched the lackeys sign the Free Trade Agreement (FTA) between the two countries. Old Alvaro was pleased as punch, of course, and called upon the USA to get on and sign their own FTA with his country and stop moaning and whining about petty things like gov't sponsored paramilitary death squads, phone tappings, kidnappings, extrajudical murders carried out with the approval of ministers...y'know, trifles like that.

But then on April 28th Canada's parliament debated and decided on a few other things. Then yesterday via a press conference in Colombia, Canada delivered a very, but VERY large portion of egg to the face of Uribe when it emerged via a pro-Uribe senator that "a few extra details" must be taken into consideration before the FTA could be ratified. Including:

• A joint body to study environmental impact in Colombia (big deal)

• Compliance with labour laws (natch)

• More work done to combat crime (dunno how they'll measure that one)

• A study of the number of people made homeless by the ongoing civil conflict (oh...now we're getting warmed up)

• The government of President Alvaro Uribe must demonstrate a friendlier and more constructive relationship with Human Rights organizations in the country. ZING!!!!!!!!!

Oh how I ROFLed when I read that one. Y'see Prez Uribe classes Human Rights dudes in Colombia as the mouthpieces of terrorists, refuses even the most recognized organizations their permits, chases their personnel out of the country and drowns out their reports of institutionalized killings (there are 22,000 people being investigated in as disappeared in Colombia right now....and no that's not a typo.....twenty-two thousand) by unending ad-hom attacks on the people delivering the message.

And now Canada says "Dude...you don't get your FTA if you don't STFU"...wonderful. What a bunch of subversive bastards you are, frosties. Ah loves you all.

Atahualpa Strikes Again

Harper's government toppled by a guinea pig?

Never underestimate the power of a dead Inca. Atahualpa's Revenge is Peru's world-reknowned stomach upsetter named after the last Inca king (for want of a better phrase) who was betrayed and killed by Pizarro and the first conquistadores. And it looks like it might have claimed another victim.

Canada's PM Stephen Harper came back from the Peru APEC summit last week "feeling unwell", and the lack of presence due to the iffy food served in Lima may well have been the catalyst to set off the current leadership turmoil and coalition attacks on his government. Here's Canada's National Post with the goods:

While the opposition leaders and the Liberal leadership candidates were plotting, Mr. Harper was in shock. Still sick from a trip to the APEC conference in Peru, the previous weekend, his recovery was hardly aided by the realization that his fate no longer lay in his own hands. The opposition parties had a combined vote of 163 MPs, 20 more than his own party.

At the time of the APEC summit, this humble blog mentioned there were over 100 cases of bad stomachs due to the crap food served to guests and dignitaries (they blamed it on the weather...seriously). Once the conference was done 225 cases in total had been registered, but none as important than Harper's, I'd venture. Coup d'etat in Canada? Blame it on the cuy, ceviche, seco de cordero, bife de alpaca and chuños, people.

Bina; you owe Peru bigtime.