The world according to the goldbug newsletter writer, updated crisis edition

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO THE GOLDBUG NEWSLETTER WRITER (UPDATED CRISIS EDITION)
Event	Analysis	Effect	recommendation
Dow under 8,000	Had to happen; crooks getting justice	people need the safe haven of gold	BUY GOLD!
Rebound in Dow	the plan is working, the economy is safe	expansion of economy will help gold	BUY GOLD!
DEFLATION!	things getting cheaper	people have more money left over to spend on gold	BUY GOLD!
INFLATION!	things will be more expensive tomorrow	people will rush to spend their money on gold	BUY GOLD!
oil now cheap	great news at the pumps	people have more money left over to spend on gold	BUY GOLD!
oil on the rise	at long last! commodity reflation	the whole commodity sector is sure to follow	BUY GOLD!
uneconomic mines closing down	great news! Supply is crimping	less gold coming to market	BUY GOLD!
mines stay on schedule for opening	excellent! Lots of industry confidence	mine managers know the real story here	BUY GOLD!
US Congress bails out Detroit	smart move; US gov't assures employment	Wealth for all is the only way	BUY GOLD!
US Congress lets Detroit fall	smart move; spend more on productive sectors	the US sees reality at last. Real market forces to rule	BUY GOLD!