Ken Kurson, winner of this week's coveted award

I know it's only Wednesday, but nobody beats this one. Nobody.

Via Salmon, we get to find out the quality of investment advice offered by Esquire magazine. I mean, this Ken Kurson dude actually wrote this but we're not in blogworld here...this stuff has to get approved by editors and that, too. Kurson's theme is gold investment and he pumps something called 'superfund gold' (basically looks like an ETF with less assurances and more commish) and has this to say about the possible benefits:

Superfund just started a new tranche of its signature fund called Superfund Gold. It invests in an array of commodities futures in exactly the same way, but your initial investment is denominated not in dollars but in gold. Suppose you buy $10,000 worth of Superfund Gold. If gold were trading at $1,000 an ounce, your $10,000 would be worth ten ounces of gold. Suppose the value of the fund doubles over the next five years and you decide to redeem all your shares. Rather than getting $20,000, you would instead receive as many dollars as it would take to buy 20 ounces of gold. Thus, if the price of gold doubles — akin to saying the value of a dollar is halved — you'd receive $40,000, since that's what it'd take to buy 20 ounces at $2,000 an ounce.

Yes, you did read that correctly. I suggest go over that pretzel math again, just to let it sink in (and for the laugh). This person offers investment advice? Salmon in his post calls the article 'spectacularly silly' which is an understatement really, but then goes on to cut and dice the guy seven ways (worth a read).

Ken Kurson, you win this week's Coveted Award. Mere words cannot describe my opinion of your work, so let's just cut to the images. Enjoy, dumbass: