He still doesn't know how lucky he was

Silly hair, silly man

"Dumbass Gringo of the Week" award goes to UK member of parliament Michael Fabricant (literally a made-up name, methinks). I always thought coffee whitener was a pretty nasty substance, but this batch was close to lethal (mixed with AK-47, not java). I'll let Reuters tell the story, but this guy is from the party that's very likely to be in power after the next election. Minister of Silly Walks, anyone?

MP in jungle cocaine search drama

LONDON (Reuters) - A British MP trekking in Colombia was held at gunpoint in the jungle and forced to eat coffee whitener from a jar in his backpack after soldiers mistook it for cocaine.

Michael Fabricant was on a walking holiday in South America with a friend when they were stopped by a group of gun-toting men in camouflage uniforms.

The soldiers found a container full of coffee whitener in their bags and immediately suspected it was drugs.

"In order to demonstrate that it wasn't cocaine, I had to take a whole pile of it and throw it down my throat," the Conservative member for Lichfield in Staffordshire told BBC television.

"They waited a few minutes to see whether I collapsed or went delirious and said something completely ridiculous like 'Gordon Brown's got a great personality'.

"Because I didn't say anything too weird, they came to the conclusion that it wasn't the case and they let me go."

His explanation for putting powdered whitener in Colombian coffee, regarded as among the best in the world, will be familiar to many Brits abroad.

"You have to be a little bit careful about what you eat," he said.

(Reporting by Peter Griffiths; editing by Steve Addison)